Social Media and Missed Connections

We are so connected it’s tedious.

The world’s biggest twitterer:

Last month’s yellow armband is gone. Oh oh, there’s some re-branding going on here:

Let’s do some cyber stalking.!/lancearmstronG. What’s happening, Lance?
linked to:

It’s so cool. We’re one-on-one with Lance (well: one-on-3,144,135)

Lance has a secret twitter account:!/juanpelota (that only 17,690 other people know about)
(Juan Pelota = one ball) Fewer Nike plugs here.

Other spin-offs: (not Lance)!/pharmstrong

Great to see the (ex-) pro cyclists talking to each other:!/Ty_Hamilton

It’s like you’re part of the conversation:

Let’s go down the rabbit hole, at the other end of the spectrum:!/floydlandis I think this is the real one. Last tweet 3 years ago.

But the Fake Floyd Landis industry is thriving: And very confusing as some of the fakes seem to be real!/FakeFloydLandis This one is real, I think (a fake fake Floyd Landis).

It is not very stable, keeps changing:

A real fake Floyd:!/floydalandis

A real fake Floyd Landis abusing a fake fake Floyd Landis

Another fake Floyd:!/GreyManrod

If you have a strong stomach then there is Bono:!/BonoVox_ The platitudes almost have you tearing your head off. However, I found the famous, much-quoted, tweet he dropped on Lance a while back:
“Sometimes, my friend, the lie is ugly but the truth is unbearable.” Indeed. I’m guessing that Lance isn’t tagging lifts in U2’s plane over the Atlantic anymore.

Cadel’s twitter is pretty innocuous:!/CadelOfficial

Which brings us to “Missed Connections”.
You know the ones I mean:

Shortie with tattoos on a bike – m4w – 28 (Manhattan Bridge)
Date: 2011-05-10, 2:45PM EDT

You: Riding your sweet fixed gear italian steel.
Me: The guy that ran into you at the lights. I was thinking of all the injustices in the world and now I am the cause of just another one.

You were wearing a black t-shirt and a purple faux fur jacket. I had a pointy beard and a U-lock in the belt. I helped you to pick up your books and you told me to fuck off. Lets meet for a chai latte.

Or more to the point, this one:

Shortie with Thunderbird face (Barwon Heads)
Date: 2009-12-29, 6:45AM EDT

You: Were riding your BMC SLR01 teammachine with two others.
We: Were a tour group.

You passed us at speed, oblivious. We were too slow to get the camera out. Your face was a serene mask that looked like you were contemplating a wind-swept Tibetan plateau. And then you passed us again in the other direction. We think you could be good on a tour.

Yes, our 2009 near-miss brush with Cadel.

So Cadel’s doing a book signing in Brisbane. I’m thinking an Epic signature is called for. Team tactics? Well the signing is between 10:30 – 12:00. Why don’t I arrive a bit after 10:30 when the rush is over and things have quietened down a bit?

Great idea:

The line stretches out of the shop, up the street:

For two city blocks, then loops three times around a piazza.

I can’t find the end of the queue! Every 2nd person in Brisbane has a red plastic Dymocks bookshop bag. Finally a Policeman guides me.

I do the maths: 1 hour 15 mins left. About 700 people in front of me. I’m been told that he did 600 in an hour in Sydney yesterday….

It’s going to be touch & go.

Dymocks employees keep us informed and hydrated, going up and down the queue passing out water bottles. He has to leave strictly at 12 or he will lose sponsorship…

In sight of the shop. Only a few minutes left .

He’s staying for another five minutes!
It’s going to be close..

We’re there. What! What’s this?
The line is officially closed two people ahead of me. Don’t let any one else in.

Especially that guy over there.

But look:

There he is!
Behind the stack of Matthew Reilly books:

I storm the store.

I am there. Only a publicist in leopard print is between me and Cadel. Unfortunately my life experienced through twitter has left me ill-prepared for an analogue version of Cadel and before I can frame a 140 character utterance, his entourage quickly forms a cordon around him and whisks him up the escalator.

The next day: (Do you think the Dalai Lama has a twitter assistant?)

But then, to make it even worse, he’s done a Brisbane bike ride without telling anyone. Not even twitter!

This year’s near-miss Cadel experience? Tick. Done.

This entry was posted in Armstrong, Cadel. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Social Media and Missed Connections

  1. Leah says:

    Cavendish wins the inaugural twitter award:.

    Fabian Cancellara runner up :
    Cancellara’s second place was largely due to his mysterious code-like transmissions from the team hotels. “Our rooms they have 2 beds.There is a distance betwinn. but this night o’grady stolen my planket.Because he had cold.i taket back ;-)”

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