Let’s do some cyber stalking. http://twitter.com/#!/lancearmstronG. What’s happening, Lance?
It’s so cool. We’re one-on-one with Lance (well: one-on-3,144,135)
Lance has a secret twitter account: http://twitter.com/#!/juanpelota (that only 17,690 other people know about)
(Juan Pelota = one ball) Fewer Nike plugs here.
Other spin-offs: (not Lance)
Great to see the (ex-) pro cyclists talking to each other:
It’s like you’re part of the conversation:
Let’s go down the rabbit hole, at the other end of the spectrum:
http://twitter.com/#!/floydlandis I think this is the real one. Last tweet 3 years ago.
But the Fake Floyd Landis industry is thriving: And very confusing as some of the fakes seem to be real http://twitter.com/#!/FakeFloydLandis This one is real, I think (a fake fake Floyd Landis).
A real fake Floyd: http://twitter.com/#!/floydalandis
Another fake Floyd: http://twitter.com/#!/GreyManrod
If you have a strong stomach then there is Bono:
http://twitter.com/#!/BonoVox_ The platitudes almost have you tearing your head off. However, I found the famous, much-quoted, tweet he dropped on Lance a while back:
“Sometimes, my friend, the lie is ugly but the truth is unbearable.” Indeed. I’m guessing that Lance isn’t tagging lifts in U2’s plane over the Atlantic anymore.
Cadel’s twitter is pretty innocuous:
Which brings us to “Missed Connections”.
You know the ones I mean:
Shortie with tattoos on a bike – m4w – 28 (Manhattan Bridge)
Date: 2011-05-10, 2:45PM EDT
You: Riding your sweet fixed gear italian steel.
Me: The guy that ran into you at the lights. I was thinking of all the injustices in the world and now I am the cause of just another one.
You were wearing a black t-shirt and a purple faux fur jacket. I had a pointy beard and a U-lock in the belt. I helped you to pick up your books and you told me to fuck off. Lets meet for a chai latte.
Or more to the point, this one:
Shortie with Thunderbird face (Barwon Heads)
Date: 2009-12-29, 6:45AM EDT
You: Were riding your BMC SLR01 teammachine with two others.
We: Were a tour group.
You passed us at speed, oblivious. We were too slow to get the camera out. Your face was a serene mask that looked like you were contemplating a wind-swept Tibetan plateau. And then you passed us again in the other direction. We think you could be good on a tour.
Yes, our 2009 near-miss brush with Cadel.
So Cadel’s doing a book signing in Brisbane. I’m thinking an Epic signature is called for. Team tactics? Well the signing is between 10:30 – 12:00. Why don’t I arrive a bit after 10:30 when the rush is over and things have quietened down a bit?
I do the maths: 1 hour 15 mins left. About 700 people in front of me. I’m been told that he did 600 in an hour in Sydney yesterday….
In sight of the shop. Only a few minutes left .
I storm the store.
I am there. Only a publicist in leopard print is between me and Cadel. Unfortunately my life experienced through twitter has left me ill-prepared for an analogue version of Cadel and before I can frame a 140 character utterance, his entourage quickly forms a cordon around him and whisks him up the escalator.
But then, to make it even worse, he’s done a Brisbane bike ride without telling anyone. Not even twitter!
This year’s near-miss Cadel experience? Tick. Done.